For it is not.
It all started when I decided to resume driving lessons after a 3-years hiatus. I had failed my Traffic Police practical driving test at least 5 times before my final theory expired in 2012. I had passed my Basic Theory Test when I turned 18 but I had no money to continue with practical lessons then. When I grew older, it was always a matter of 'got time, no money' or 'got money, no time' and when 'got time, got money', the preferred slots for practical lessons were always full and my lessons were inconsistent. It was ridiculous to be constantly monitoring the slots while at work or to keep taking leave for practical lessons especially when I had to apply for leave at least 3 months in advance for my workplace at that point.
I used to be under ComfortDelGro Driving Centre - Kovan Branch. When I failed my practical test the 12345th time and my final theory expired, I had to put my dreams of getting a driving license to a stall as my wedding was impending. After the wedding though, we were busy with our home renovations.We got our keys a week before our wedding, you see. My first born was conceived after 2 months of marriage and so, we need to prioritise our spendings for the pregnancy check-ups and delivery. Blah, blah, blah... it has been 3 years and I finally decided that there is no more putting off getting a license and I MUST get down to it already.
Since my husband is the sole breadwinner, I suggested for me to take up a temporary job stint so that the household budget will not be affected and driving lessons are not exactly cheap. We agreed for the temporary job arrangement to be around 1 to 3 months and see how it goes. I started driving lessons towards the end of Sep and this time round, I took up lessons from a private driving instructor recommended from one of my FB contacts. He was a garang uncle who used to be the chief training instructor at SSDC and is now a retiree. I failed AGAIN for the first practical test and was fairly disheartened but when I got a test date for the week after, I was more determined to pass. On a blessed Friday the 13th of November 2015, I finally obtained my driving license. I was the last one to enter the room and when the tester was going through with me the results, my mind was racing and all I was thinking was whether I passed or failed. I was tearing and thanking him profusely when he finally smiled and said, "Congratulations, you PASSED." So drama. I know. Lol.
I thanked my driving instructor who was waiting patiently for me at his car and cried again while telling him I passed. I didn't expect getting a driving license to be this emotional. It was more stressful than taking my GCE 'O' Level results. I proceeded to take a photo at the instant photo booth and waited for my turn to get my temporary license. For those who are learning, I suggest for you to prepare a decent Passport/NRIC photo in your wallet before you go for your practical tests. The product from instant photo booths can be quite unflattering.
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| For those who are keen to book a private instructor from the North! |
For those who are wondering, my temporary child care arrangement for my two girls was to place them under the care of my mother and my mother-in-law. We had to trial-and-error the best arrangement for everybody. Initially, we will wake up extra early and carry the girls to Khatib where my parents-in-laws stay before leaving for work. We placed Azeen on the stroller and Ayra on the carrier and walked through the park. We also tried just carrying them and taking the feeder bus but the bus was always very crowded and it was not easy balancing while carrying children and bags. It was challenging initially as they will wake up when we carry them and both or at least one will be crying for Mummy not to leave them. It was truly heartbreaking.
I was very concerned for Little Miss Clingy Ayra but it turns out that she can actually survive a day without Mummy and behaves herself. The moment she seems me at the doorstep, she will start her clingy mode back on. My mother decided to sleepover at my place for a few days so that I can get ready without crying children and for the children to sleep through as I leave for work. I can understand the guilt that working mothers go through as they hear the cries of their children wailing and wanting their mummies.
After trying out for a few days, we decided on the arrangement that will affect the children the least. It is just a temporary arrangement so we wouldn't want to disrupt their routine too much. Every Monday, the girls will be placed at my in-laws and after work on Mondays, I fetched them and send the girls to Hougang. I leave for work from Hougang the next day. I slept at Hougang on alternate days and fetch the girls on Fridays. The alternate days that I return to Yishun, I will be rushing on the household chores, especially the laundry. Sometimes, my mother will send the girls over to Yishun on Fridays so that I wouldn't need to rush to Hougang from work and then back to Yishun. Mothers are really super human beings. Even at 30 with two children, my mother still pampers me and wants the best for me. She doesn't want me to be struggling and whatever she can do within her means to help me out, she will. The power of a mother's love is truly limitless.
I have been a SAHM for the girls since they were born so when I started working, as much as I miss my routine, I found myself enjoying time to myself. I could eat with two hands without anyone climbing over my back. I can chat with friends and do some window-shopping during lunch. It was freedom on a whole new level! I was not on Mummy's duty for 25 hours a day. I did not expect myself to love my temporary workplace and the people there as my intention had been to just earn money for my driving lessons and probably some extras for self-pampering. I felt truly blessed and had new friendships forged within the short span of three months.
A tiny part of me was reluctant to go back to life as a SAHM but then I think of the real challenges a working mother has to face and concluded that both have equal challenges to overcome and I should be contented with my lifestyle for now. During that short period, there were incidents that made me understand why some working parents choose to place their children in childcare centres instead of under the care of their own parents or in-laws. Plus, there were those times that I had to control my tongue not to voice out certain conflicting ideas to avoid any misunderstandings. I just kept reminding myself that it is a short-term arrangement and I can reprogram or uninstall any unwanted software once I regain 'control' of our preferred parenting style. When I leave for work in the morning, I see other parents struggling with their young children still groggy and yet needs to be left at the childcare centre before their parents rush off to work. After work, these parents rush to fetch their children and once they reach home, it is a mad rush to have dinner, do household chores and prepare for the next morning.
Now that I am back as a SAHM, my routine is to prepare breakfast for the girls before bathing them, rushing off to do any chores I can before Ayra's nap time and then do my Zohor prayers before getting Azeen ready for school and then to send Azeen off to school which is only for 1.5 hours. I will have a breather while Azeen is away in school and it will be 'me' time with Ayra while waiting for her elder sister. I feel very 'aunty' now that I start making friends with other Mummies who are waiting for their child to end school. I hang out with another Mummy for drinks and desserts, exchanging stories of our children or just anything under the sun. When I pick Azeen up, it will be time to prepare or buy dinner, do some more household chores, bathe the girls, do Asar prayers and then Daddy will reach home. It will be time for Magrib prayers, dinner and a little bit of TV before reading time for the girls. Last itinerary will be performing Isya' prayers and putting the girls to sleep. Once they are asleep, I will do my packing of orders and to prepare them for mailing. Somewhere in between my daily activities, I will manage to reply queries and orders for MifSha Kids customers. While sleeping, Ayra will be climbing all over me for her free flow of milk before deciding to sleep across my body to ensure that I cannot go to the toilet or leave her side without her knowledge. Up till today, during Subuh prayers, I will have to do my prayers while listening to her wailing for Mummy throughout the 2 raka'ats despite having her Daddy pacifying her. It all sounds like such a calm experience when I type it out but it is quite chaotic in reality. Lol.
SAHMs or working mums have different roles and responsibilities to juggle. All mothers are superwomen and want the best for their children. I am thankful to get a taste of both worlds. For now, I shall just constantly remind myself that it is a joy to witness and experience the daily mayhem until both girls are bigger. How much bigger? I have no idea.
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